Last Minute Halloween Costumes

What!? It's two days till Halloween and you still don't have a costume? Go to the store? Oh, you don't like crowds? Well that's hardly an excuse. But you don't want to spend $50 for a cheaply made gossamer piece of crap that you're only gonna wear once? Ok, that I can understand. But what are you gonna wear?

For all of those who have been too busy, procrastinating, can't come up with an idea or cryogenically frozen during the month of October to get a Halloween costume, you're in luck. Here are some fast and cheap ideas that are sure to get you through the 31st.

Scarecrow
Simple. Wear some ratty rural looking clothes - the rattier the better, even try to get some patches and duct tape on there. Put a few shirts in your belly to make it look more round like it's stuffed with straw. Next get some straw. You can cheaply buy it at a pumpkin patch, garden store, home depot and some grocery stores. If you're really cheap just get some off a farm - they have enough. Stuff your cuffs with the straw. It should be coming out of everything: sleeves, pants, neck. For the finishing touch tie off you legs and arms. For more inspiration find a real scarecrow and mimic it.

Headless Sports Player
This costume literally takes 30 seconds. Get a sports jersey - football and hockey jersey's work best - and put a pillow across the shoulders. Then put it on and make sure nothing comes out the neck hole. There you go you're a headless sports player. I say football and hockey jerseys work best because they have wider shoulders and are mesh so you can see through the jersey without anyone seeing you. Make your costume look better by carrying around your "head" in a helmet - if you have one.

Greek, Roman, Philosopher, Statue, Bluto
Toga!!!! Do you sleep in a bed? Then you have a sheet and thus you have a costume. Depending on what you're going for you can be any of a number of ancients. You can be a simple Greek or Roman, and top it off with some olive branches on your head. For those with large beards you can be your favorite philosopher depending on how long your beard is. If you've got some time on your hands, paint your body white and powder your hair. When you suit up in a toga you're a statue, but please no Venus - we don't want any lost limbs. As a last resort you can dress in a toga and pour mustard down the front of yourself and - Ta-da! You're Bluto from Animal House.

Gum Balls, Grapes
Do your friends say you're full of hot air? Here's a costume for you. Fill up a ton of balloons - red or green if you're gonna be grapes, and multicolor for gumballs, and then tape them to your body. And you're done. That was easy.

Play on Words
Find something easy that's a play on words. You could dress as a "Cereal Killer" by taking your favorite breakfast cereal box and driving a knife through it. Or the Second Amendment by wearing a flannel shirt and a truckers hat with big brown bush bear arms over top of yours. Get it? Right to Bear arms. Pick your favorite.

Witch
You have to buy the hat, but other then that dress in black, and find some other good stuff at the local thrift store.

Go Retro
Find your old clothes from when you were growing up (if they still fit) and wear them. Or wear the ones from a few years ago and go as a time period. Wear some ripped jeans and flannel shirt for Grunge, or flared jeans and tie die to be a hippie. The possibilities are endless.

Celebrities
This is completely overdone but never gets old. As long as there have been celebrities there will always be people dressing as them. Just make sure everyone knows who you are. It's not a costume if no one recognizes it - then you're just a freak in weird clothes.

That Guy
Do you have a weird friend? Well, dress as him. Borrow his clothes and his trademark item to make the costume complete. You're friends will laugh, but the rest of the world won't get it.

The Old Standby
Go to the thrift store and find some crazy stuff there. You're bound to find something that you can scrounge a costume out of. If you can't find a consistent costume, then just dress in a ton of stuff and be a Trick or Treater with Multiple Personalities.

Last Resort
Dress in last year's costume, borrow your friend's costume from last year, wear and old costume. Someone is bound to have something laying around. By this point if you can't find a costume, that' s just pathetic. Hopefully I've given you some good pointers so you won't go out in the "Person Who Forgot it was Halloween" costume.