Happy Barfday Everyone!

The classy Jodie Marsh, pictured, turns 30 (in publicist years) today.

Also celebrating a birthday: former teen heart-throb/meth-head Corey Haim (he turns 37 -- 37?!?! OY GODS! Is it wrong that I remember when he was 17?!? Of course, I lusted after Corey Feldman myself...), France's first lady/former model/ex-girlfriend of Mick Jagger Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (she turns 41, and could pass for Pam Anderson's daughter), Pearl Jam's oft-imitated-never-duplicated lead singer Ed Vedder (he turns 44), and soap opera legend Susan Lucci (she turns 62, and could pass for Pam Anderson's daughter...I kid, I kid...).

Happy Barfday Everyone!

Pamela Anderson: A Cautionary Tale

Image Credit: DListed

Remember when Pamela Anderson was beautiful? Remember when she was a fresh-scrubbed, pixie-faced sex symbol who graced the cover of Playboy more times than anyone in the history of histories, ranking number one on the list of Hot 100 Celebrities? Remember when she slung that "Tool Time" belt on Home Improvement and bounced across the beach on Baywatch?

Yeah. Those days are obviously over. Exhibit A: The photo to the left.

Let this be a lesson to every bleached-blonde, hard-living, bar-band groupie out there: the "rock star" lifestyle will catch up with you...and age you. BADLY.

And lest you think I doth protest too much, or that I'm just a "jellis h8r" who is blinded by barfly beauty (*gag*), consider this: Pamela Anderson is 41. Faith Hill and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy -- neither of whom led/lead "rock star" lifestyles -- are ALSO 41. You tell me.