Why So Classy?: For The Love of Ray J

And with this announcement, For the Love of Ray J has displaced Rock of Love Tour Bus as my guilty trash extravaganza! (God help the poor soul that had to clean out that tour bus...it must've smelled like Pike Street in there...)

SO ANYWAY, 22-year-old Monica Leon, who goes by the name Danger (that's the classy one with the tattoo on her face) on For the Love of Ray-j, has run off and told the National Enquirer that she's 3 months pregnant with Ray-J's baby. What's even more special is that Monica claims they made a baby on the set of that elegant show.

What a beautiful thing. The baby is going to grow up to find out it was conceived on rented sheets on a rented bed in a rented house...in front of the whole VH1 viewing audience. For the Love of Ray-J is the trashiest home movie ever.

Monica told the Enquirer, "There is no way the baby can be anyone's but Ray J's. I was locked in a mansion with him and 13 girls from October until the end of December. Toward the end of the first week of filming, we made love for the first time - and we slept together every night after that! I didn't want to fall for Ray J, but he was so charming it became impossible not to. I was in love with him, and as strange as it might sound, I think he loved me."

Made love?! MADE LOVE?! Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news (and not to sound like a Catholic school nun), but when a dude you've known for a week has unprotected sex with you (and 13 other women!), that's NOT love...that's GRADE A, UNABASHED STUPIDITY! If you didn't catch a baby, you would've caught a, *ahem* (in a Victorian voice) "social disease"!

But seriously, VH1 could find a way to turn this into a show. For the Love of a Child Support Check! Maury Povich would host, obviously. (Oh no...I just gave them an idea...)

Miss Why So Classy? February 2009

Now, why is Tamara from I Love Money 2 deserve this month's Miss Why So Classy? Award?

Let's start with a quote: "I'm afraid of water. Um. Maybe I shouldn't get a houseboat then."

That was just one of the many beautiful gems that came out of Tamara's echo chamber head during last night's I Love Money 2. This is the kind of moron we could all use as a friend. She will make anyone feel like the president of Mensa! And she would be so much fun at parties! I bet if you tied a sock around her waist, she'd fall over! If you put a piece of scotch tape on her nose, she'd spend hours trying to get it off. If you asked her what the capital of Los Angeles was, smoke would start to float out of her ears. I love her!

Tamara's genius started when she said that if she won the money, she'd buy a houseboat and park it in the ocean. But then she suddenly realized that she was afraid of water, so maybe living on a houseboat wasn't such a good thing. Stupidity like this is a God-given gift!

Tamara's greatest moment came when she (SPOILER ALERT) lost an arm-wrestling match and had to leave the show. In Tamara's defense, there was no way she going to win that match when she's on a permanent 15-second delay. After she lost, Tamara's balloon head almost popped. She flipped out and yelled at the crew, "You have no hearts and no souls! You should be ashamed of yourselves for exploiting these stupid idiots!" The crew totally shrugged and mumbled, "Yeah, so? When do we eat?!"

And she also screamed that she's a winner who has been on 50 magazine covers! Um. Tamara. You know that those "magazine covers" you shot at a Six Flags photo booth aren't real?! Yeah, we shouldn't burst her bubble head.

Tamara's meltdown actually surprised me. I'm impressed that she knows that many words. I figured she was operating on a 12-word vocabulary.

After she got tired from overusing her one brain cell, Tamara stormed out...the wrong door. HA! If Chrissy Snow was a Midwestern lot lizard who was addicted to Purple Drank, her name would be Tamara. Seriously, get Miss Why So Classy? February 2009 her own show called Are You Smarter Than Tamara?! Everyone is a winner! Even inanimate objects!

Why So Classy?: The Celeb-Reality Edition

(WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK...HECK, NOT SAFE FOR LIFE!)



Well, we all knew this would be one steaming hot mess, but who knew -- WHO KNEW -- that this edition of Rock of Love w/Bret Michaels would take the cake in sleaziness? I mean, even in his prime, Bret (or BERT, as the Television Without Pity forum calls him -- sure, works for me too!) wasn't known for attracting the, uh, classiest of women. But good lord, I felt my upper lip tingle after this episode...and all I did was watch it!

That said, I'm sure I'll be tuning in every week. CURSE YOU, VH1, AND YOUR FANTASTICALLY HIDEOUS "REALITY" SHOWS!

So...onto the moment above. Nikki (the one with the two flotation devices on her chest area) was so "freakin' horny" on the first night, so she decided to do a shot. I won't say the name of the drink, or where she did the shot (hint: it has to do with the black bar across the screen...and for those of you who don't know Portuguese, PEREREICA is a slang term for a body part...and it's not referring to the pancreas).

Suffice it to say that Nikki has raised the bar of classiness to a whole new level. Expect this practice to be done at debutante balls across America -- heck, across the WORLD -- from hereinout.

Amazingly, Nikki didn't make it past the first night. I guess it's because she's too classy for Bert and his skanky groupie minions. That's okay...totally his loss.

More VH1 2008 Critics Choice Awards News

Academy Award nominee Rosie Perez announces, with much happiness, the nomination of the late Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor for his role as The Joker in The Dark Knight. The film garnered six nods total at this morning's Critics Choice Awards nominations, including a Best Picture nod.

Read More (more photos too!)

Viacom Cutting Many Jobs

Even the music industry isn't immune to the current economic downturn! (To be fair, however, MTV hasn't played music since Kurt Cobain passed away...)

Viacom, the parent company of MTV (and VH1, Nickelodeon, BET, and CMT), has fired 850 people, and unless the remaining employees up their game, more are due to get the axe.

The following is an email that was sent out this morning to all Viacom employees from the CFOs:

"Dear Colleagues:

With less than a month until the close of 2008, our entire organization continues to do everything possible to anticipate and adapt to the unprecedented changes affecting all our businesses. We know it hasn’t been easy and we couldn’t be more proud or more appreciative of how you have risen to the challenge.

Even in these tough economic times, Viacom has a strong hand to play. We have a broad stable of outstanding brands, diverse revenue streams and an impressive global footprint, backed up by exceptional financial strength. Added to that we have talented employees, extremely able leaders and a creative ingenuity that runs deep.

Unfortunately, our advantages and best efforts can’t completely protect Viacom from the very serious and broad-based challenges of this economic recession. Viacom’s long-term health will depend on our shared commitment to adapt, to innovate and to make difficult choices. To compete and thrive, we need to create an organization and a cost structure that are in step with the evolving economic environment.

Today, we are announcing a company-wide restructuring plan that includes staffing reductions in all divisions. This will result in a reduction of our worldwide workforce of approximately 7 percent, or about 850 positions. We are also suspending salary increases for the Company’s senior level management in 2009. In addition, after a comprehensive review of our operations, we will write down certain programming and other assets. These three actions will bring us significant cost savings and other efficiencies.

Top managers at every part of the company worked thoughtfully, carefully and compassionately to create a leaner, more focused organization. It was not an easy task, but it was an essential step that will keep Viacom at the competitive forefront today and tomorrow. Department heads and supervisors will provide you with more information about the changes that will be taking place in your division.

Saying goodbye to friends and colleagues is always difficult, particularly when we have shared so much. Those of you who will be leaving should be proud of your contributions, which we will always respect and appreciate. We thank you and we wish you the best.

The true measure of an organization is how it deals with change and overcomes challenges. We know that you are up to the task and that together we will push through the difficulties ahead and go on to even greater achievements.
We truly appreciate your continued commitment and hard work and we thank you for everything you do each day.

Sincerely,
Philippe and Tom"

New York & Tailor Made Are Dunzo

The reality TV star, New York, legally known as Tiffany Pollard, has been dumped by her latest love creepy boyfriend, Tailor Made a.k.a. George Weisgerber – whom she chose as the winner on the second season of VH1 dating competition 'I Love New York.'

According to published reports, the entire breakup will be played out in front of millions of viewers' eyes during her upcoming reality series, 'New York Goes Hollywood.'

Brooke Knows Best

Brooke Hogan gets her very own reality show... Watch as she leaves the family behind, moves to Miami, and begins her new life without "The Hulk" watching her every move.

But never fear Daddy...The camera crews will be there to follow her every move as she pursues her dream of achieving pop princess stardom.

Does Brooke Know Best? Find out the show premiers on vh1 on July 13th at 10pm.

'Celebrity Rehab' - Take 2

VH1 has announced that the reality show 'Celebrity Rehab' will return in October for a second season. The show follows a group of celebrities attempting to recover from addictions through a 21-day intensive program led by Dr. Drew Pinsky and his staff.

"Over the course of the first season we were inundated with positive feedback about the series from our viewers and those in the rehab community," Jeff Olde, executive vice president of original programming and production for VH1, said in a statement. "Dr. Drew is a powerful, positive force for those seeking recovery."

The celebrities will also have a mentor in actor Gary Busey, who shares his experience with cocaine addiction.

Season 2 contestants include:
Steven Adler (former Guns 'n' Roses drummer)
Jeff Conaway (actor; left first season before filming was complete)
Rodney King (police brutality victim)
Tawney Kitaen (actress)
Nikki McKibbin (former 'American Idol' contestant)
Amber Smith (model/actress)
Sean Stewart (Rod Stewart's son)